This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
