Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
