Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
