Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I wish I only lived at night.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
