So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
