I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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