My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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