P.S. I can't hear my feet
where does the pee come out of this thing
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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