No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize