We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
