I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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