Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
