I showed him my bush... on skype.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
