I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
