mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
