either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
