Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
