So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
