Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
