I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize