Whod you bang
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
