Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
