But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
