She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Randomize
