my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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