she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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