The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
