I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize