yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize