I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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