butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
