I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
