He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
