I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
