So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
