So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
