So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
