Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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