Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
