I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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