Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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