you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
