She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
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