It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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