I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
