I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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