I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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