Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
