hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
