hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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