she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
