I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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