Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I just blew my weed a kiss
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
