Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We're too hungover to prance.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
