It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
